Sunday, September 03, 2006

too damn sick to care

Well, it had to finally happen. I am on this thin string of "to do" lists and schedules. Wanna know how to make your life come crashing to a halt? Get sick. Get so sick that it costs you a lot of money to learn that Dr.'s don't know a hell of a lot and that you may be so sick it ends everything you have worked for.

It isn't that bad yet, but having severe airway constriction problems associated with medication you were given for an allergic reaction to something is down right scarry.

I also learned another lesson. Forget making sure every one around your environment is happy and content with you. Man, I am too tired of making everything so fluffy and wonderful for people. The world gives you choices. You have to make ones on your own and be happy with what you have given to you... or change. I am not going to appologize any more, because when I am on my own and scared to death of the asthma attack I feel coming on (which I never had to deal with until this week), I don't need to be yelled at because your life sucks!

Angre is what makes people lonely. I am not angry. I will not surround myself with angry people who I think I can help anymore. Piss off! I want peace and to make a living doing something I feel good about. I am happy there. I do have a problem bending over backwards for people. Forget that. I need to focus on "mi familia".

Now back downstairs to take another drug that will make me not sleep for days and give me crushing heartburn or worse, another of those dreaded asthma attacks...

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