X-Mas rush

Otherwise known as avoid going to New Hartford at all costs! I hate crowds and stupid suburban drivers. Needed printer ink and Bookstore fix. Came away with anxiety and strong desire to shop for everything on-line. If only one can get a grocery delivery service in rural America. Wouldn't need to leave the farm.

Thinking about Distribution/Food Chain projects and the 100 mile diets. Could I survive the last one? Single, yes, but with a more traditional Yankee diet consuming husband and typical pre-K aged daughter? I think I will seriously research this in more depth. I like the 100-mile diet idea and I think Hank and I can come up with something dynamic/systainable in the Food-Chain/Distribution area...

That is my weekend project. Think about food systems. Get Grant projects completed for the new year. Get web site done... Things upon things upon things. Oh yah, and the pile of cordwood to get in before teh snows start next weekend.

Apathy

There is this difference between Collecting and Conserving rare breeds of cattle. I think that there is this grey area as well. Most feel that they are conserving the breed when they multiply numbers. That is the case to a degree. Not developing a whole herd or flock plan and just multiplying for the sake of multiplying is not the answer. Look at the Guernsey. It can devistate a herd pretty quickly. Especially when all breeders use the same bull families over and over again.

For critical breeds there is sometimes a reason that they are still a critical population. There seems to be this sort of apathy. A go it alone kind of mentality. They are friendly towards each other, but consiously choose not to work together. It is hard to fathom why they have the breed. Some it is for pure speculation. Others because it is so rare. Some for a true passion to save critical genetics. Others happen onto animals and for lack of anyother reason, just like the individual animal and don't seem to want to breed it. All valid reasons. All reasons why the animal is rare.

I am developing this desire to NOT organize anymore. To not try to develop plans and talk to people and make meeting plans... I have become one of the many tired worn out coordinators that are all over the sustainable agriculture movement that act as champions. WOrk tirelessly for many hours. Some succeed, others fail. People like me just grow weary of the fight without a co-champion to help...

Road Trip

It was one of those days. Had to do the Road Trip. Lisa's daughter wasn't feeling well. We were hankering for bacon and she needed the lamb. Went to Taberg. Lake effect snow warnings didn't scare us...

Started to have pangs of regret that I gave up the pastured meat deal. I used Dave's "I've killed enough animals" excuse. Even to get out of working on projects that Krys and others asked me to look into. I think that part of me hates the whole dynamics of working with others, the other wants peace at home. Dave hated the hours I'd spend working on these projects. I do miss the cash flow from marketing grass-fed meat. Lamb in particular.

I need to get through the whole winter of nothing accomplished thing. Aging facility holding for what ever reason. Boy do I hate waiting for other people... Being dissapointed with the way things are working with guest cheesemakers. Wanting to have some control of my business. This go slowly waiting bull shit is driving me up a wall...

Bought paint at Home Depot. Close to Dave's appointment, so bought a gallon. Also a trim colour in a qt. size that Claire decided to throw when she was pissed that I didn't buy yet another thing that struk her fancy. Apparently Home Depot is prepared for spoiled 4 year olds that were given paint cans to throw.

I have to decide pretty quickly what EXACTLY I am going to do. That will be it. At this point I don't care what everyone else has for plans. I am just going to bull ahead and get the cheese/farm business into the black and hammer make something of this.