Thoughts While Driving

My mom is going to be ok for now. At least the lymph is not cancerous. Only, she does have sarcoidosis. I am only scratching the surface of that condition. It is one more thing to research, to worry, to figure out. I just don't care for the lack of balance thing. I am terrified that she will go upstairs at work (granite stairs) and fall down or something. I am 3-4 hours away.

I came home after getting notes home from teacher. You know I do not care for this lack of communication thing I get here in CNY. Kinda like this job where they said, "there is your desk, your files...good luck..." What does that mean? Are you trying to set me up for failure?

Basically Claire is having test anxiety and teacher anxiety and apparently she feels she can blame it on my homeschooling Claire. I am sorry, but the teacher had her change her hadwritting (that she was taught in nursery, pre-K and my K program). She gave her different words. She asked them to start spelling and basically offered no transition, no interaction with parents at this "Open house" where we are to sit and listen to her theories on education adn then watch another parent take over the situation. No follow through with us...

After paying $4000, this woman feels that with 8 kids in class, she does not have time for my daughter and that I am doing a disservice to my child by not letting her stay back in school! There are 21 kids in that class. Claire did her work for us. I did not get to talk to her. She told me her view point and that was final. I am not a happy person. I am a very unhappy person. I do not want this woman to ruin my daughter. Claire feels she "didn't win". How do I explain to Claire (for her to believe me) that it is ok and that it was not a race. She did not have to "win", only do her best.

I did not sleep. I have faint spells and I think I'm either allergic or getting a rash...

What to do with the cheese business this fall? I'm thinking just yoghurt and milk for pasteurized and raw milk for cheese. That or sell and move to civilization and start up in 2 years again.

Being dissapointed sucks.

I have to drive to MI for conference next weekend. 10 hours 22 minutes. I'll have time to sort out my thoughts I think... I wish I had my Gale dog. She would understand and come with me to listen. I miss that dog soooo much today. It is strange to miss her again. She has been gone for 4 years. Stinks to loose your soul mate.